he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize