I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
