My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
