Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
