I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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