I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
