I love black thongs
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we're making bets on your personal life
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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