No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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