she was so not down for the gang bang
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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