its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
