I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
