I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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