As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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