Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
