I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
