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I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
