No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize