I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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