Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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