4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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