I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
