Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
did i just pee glitter
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
