Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
