I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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