omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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