I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize