I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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