bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
