The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
