i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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