I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
