I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
