white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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