Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize