you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
