I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
