She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
