I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
should my penis look like a turkey
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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