Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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