omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
