Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
