im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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