This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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