D3 body, D1 cock
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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