Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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