That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
