so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
