How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
