Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
