You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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