You just made me feel so damn special
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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