Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
