bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
