I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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