It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
