Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
