we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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