I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize