So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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