Kiss
Puke
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
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