THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
