i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
