He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize